Via The Baltimore Ravens

The Ravens are doing extensive research on the possibility of signing controversial quarterback Colin Kaepernick, and have had direct talks with Kaepernick and his camp.

Ravens Owner Steve Bisciotti and President Dick Cass were asked about Kaepernick at a fan forum with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell before Sunday’s practice at M&T Bank Stadium. Goodell visited the practice as his first stop on a tour of NFL training camps.

A fan asked Bisciotti about whether he was hurting his team’s “brand” by signing Kaepernick, who drew polarizing reactions across the country with his protest during the national anthem before games last season.

“We’ve very sensitive to it and we’re monitoring it…”

I’m a Maryland guy, but there is one thing that is absolutely insufferable in this great state, and it’s fans of Baltimore. Much like their nonsensical love of ‘Baltimore’ Natty Boh fans of the Baltimore Ravens are the absolute worst (and frankly most of the time it’s the same people that like both)… I’ll start benign… I ran a sports bar for 6 years. I’ve seen the highs and the lows in recent Baltimore Ravens’ play and Ravens’ fans are the more fair weather fans I’ve ever fucking seen. Back when morale was high, the bar was packed, on their 2012 SuperBowl run, especially when Rahim Moore decides to forget how to play football for a freebie touchdown from ‘elite’ Bazooka Joe:

But just the next year after they got WORKED by the same Broncos on the season opener, crickets… for the rest of the season. After one game. I guess it just wasn’t the same for fans without beloved Ray Lewis on the field. Fans just couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed without a probably murderer on the squad, but they still had a wife beater. No, fans hate Ray Rice… now. But, I’m not even talking about him, y’all love Terrell Suggs. Hey, lets walk down memory lane… Remember when he allegedly beat up his now wife and tried to drown her with bleach? Good thing he only poured the beach on his child.. whew.. Or how about that time he dragged her behind his car? God, good times. The Ravens weren’t even a team until 1996, so I get it’s hard to get amped consistently for ‘your’ squad when anyone over (objectively) over 25  had no Ravens to fawn over when they were young and impressionable. And yet still in that short time the Ravens are in the Top 10 of teams in the NFL that have been caught cheating the most:

Ravens cheat

So why Kaepernick? Well why not is the obvious one, Ravens fans are mostly closet racists. But you all have Ryan Mallet, I forgot, the man that literally has more professional interceptions than touchdowns. The man that was so lazy he’d rather sleep in than just even sit on the bench and win rings with the Patriots. And that’s the best part of the fact that the Ravens are polling fans as to whether they should sign Kaepernick. Yes, poll the affluent fair weather fans who think Baltimore is Fells Point day drinking not where 205 homicides have happened ALREADY this year. Isn’t it just so perfect, because doesn’t the team just sound like they had the under 25 year olds from Dundalk call in and a build the Ravens. Wife beating? Ehhh, did he get caught? Nope, that’s fine then. Oh there’s a video now:

Should we revere and consider a man god like that got in a fight with two men at a night club in Atlanta and later that night they ended up dead and blood from one of the men was found in our hero’s limo and the white suit he was wearing was never found? Now that’s putting on your thinking caps. Give that man a statue, he’s more deer antler than man now. But a man who knelt during the national anthem, THINK ABOUT THE TROOPS! You can’t disrespect the troops like that, they protect our rights to beat our wives (as long as we don’t get caught) and murder people (or have our associates do it) that we don’t like (as long as we don’t get caught). No, just seeing all these fair weather fuccbois posts about how they would never go to another game if they sign Kapernick is all I need right now. It’s exactly what these ‘fans’ deserve. Here’s the link to buy a Ryan Mallet Jersey for all you fans… Or how about a Kyle Boller number 7, remember him? no… that’s what I thought.

Any fan base that can relate to Justin Tucker, as he is the biggest douche at the party, deserves this signing. Bisciotti, we’re waiting.

The Naysh




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