To kick off this year’s Shark Week, the Discovery Channel aired an hour special last night where “Micheal Phelps would race a Shark.” Anyone who isn’t a absolute moron knew this wouldn’t be dramatic at all, there’s no way they could make a shark legitimately race a human, shark’s brains are like the size of a walnut, but apparently so are the people that watched an hour special of Phelps putting on a wet suit in South Africa to culminate in this 30 seconds worth of content:

Wait, you mean to tell me that the channel that famously hyped up an hour and a half special called Eaten Alive where a man was supposed to eaten alive by an anaconda made a really long a dramatic build up where absolutely nothing ended up happening? No way…

I’ve seen Clutch the bear eat more people at a Houston Rockets game…:

So a notoriously over dramatic channel to kick off their big Shark Week promotion, a promotion known for docufictions and mocumentaries featuring fictitious Megalodons, and people are surprised at the outcome?

And I mean the outcome of the 2 second CG shark, oh, anyone who though a human could out swim a shark is delusional. Like a serious lack of understanding of human limitations and respect for nature. Here’s some info on sharks for you idiots:

It’s the same reason History Channel now airs Ancient Aliens instead of history and MTV doesn’t play music anymore, because people are stupid. Long gone are the days of the Bloodhound Gang. Seriously people, save yourself the time and switch over to SyFy at least they don’t pretend that Pirhanacondas and Sharktopuses are real… The CG is better too


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