Crayfish. Also known as crawfish, crawdads, freshwater lobsters, mountain lobsters, mudbugs or yabbies, we’ve all heard the legend but are they real? And are they in the Triadelphia Reservoir; Maryland’s foremost, preeminent, blue ribbon Resi? A quick local poll had one yokel saying:
I had my doubts. If there were, then where are all the crawdad boils? And where is the vibrant drinking and jazz scene that typically accompany them? The logical first step was to study up. Go on the internet, and find an expert: enter Crawdaddy Man
There you have it, all you need is a pair of waders and you should be able to just pick em out of the water. So I met the yokel at the Resi strapped up with some booted leg jimmies to do some skrimpin, I mean dadding, I mean Crawdad hunting. Sure enough, after some quick digging through the mire, the yokel produced a small shrimplike creature. “Perfect!” exclaimed the yokel, “crawdads love burrowing so it must be a crawdad.” Nothing else of course burrows except Digletts and Dugtrios, and a quick check of my PokemonGO app confirmed there were neither of those around, so I must admit things were starting to look up for the crawdad theory. The natural follow up question was, how do you know it’s a crawdad, sir yokel? “Simple,” the yokel stated matter-of-factly, “Looks like a crawdad, tastes like a crawdad, must be a crawdad.” And he popped it in his mouth. At this point our specimen, and only proof, was lost to the depths of his insatiable bowels so I’ve spared no expense and contracted an artists rendition of the scenario:
Being my, probably unfairly, skeptical self, I felt I needed to consult another source as to the validity of this yokel’s Crawdad Litmus Test. A quick perusing of Wikipedia showed:
Sho’ nuff, the yokel was a certified zoological expert. Just for the sake of thoroughness I asked the yokel whether he had either seen or eaten any crawdads at literally any point in his life to which he indignantly retorted, “What are you stupid? Of course I have, you just saw me didn’t you?” At this point I had no choice but to surrender to the shut down lawyering I had just received from this yokel and admit that it must be a crawfish and not possibly any one of the other (quote) ‘untold’ invertebrate species listed on the Maryland Department of Health and Natural Resources website.
The yokel graciously accepted my apology and previous skepticism and offered to take me Sasquatch hunting in the winter as he had snacked on one just the winter prior. So there you have it, there is absolutely zero doubt that crawdads are real and are in your local reservoir. Hide your cats, people.