Typical Jimmy Fallon. After being repeatedly whomped in the rating’s by Colbert he vowed a revamped and better show. He grew a mustache.
Jimmy, if you’re reading this, please listen, THIS IS EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR SHOW! A fucking three minute segment on YOU shaving your beard? Are you kidding me? I started this article as a joke, was going to say things like maybe your incessant and inappropriately timed laughing would be stifled trying to get through your Maginot Line of lip hair. But not even the mustache could somehow strengthen the Ardennes forest that is your ego maniac mouth. This is now an intervention. Jimmy, you’re funny. But you’re a writer that thinks you need to be on TV. Your fascination with being the star is equal parts Icarus and plain ick. You pushed your limits and flew too close to the comedy sun. The problem is your comedy is just as staged as this stock photo:
Oh wait, Jimmy. That’s you. Your quick glimpse to make sure the camera is on you before you grotesquely overact isn’t lost on anyone, and that’s why you lose. Personalities don’t act funny, personalities are funny.
The real problem is that you make the show all about you before anyone else, the guest or the audience. The show has your damn name on it, isn’t that enough? It’s never, this person is really amazing, let’s highlight their strengths. It’s always, Hey, you can sing, let me sing with you.
You can never let someone else shine. Your ego wont allow it. It’s the same ego that wont allow you to not laugh at your own jokes. Jimmy, let me let you in on a secret, that’s not what they mean when they say, “If you can’t laugh at yourself.” Jimmy, please, I’m begging you, take a look at the first clip. Will Ferrell is funny, he shines in that bit, you do not. Take a step back, let the ego go, and calm your fucking tits with the overacting. I can’t tell you a single person my age that watches network TV late night shows anymore, what we see is the clips online the next day, and right now, were not laughing with you, Jimmy, it’s very clearly at, and not in a flattering way.