They say fashion is cyclical, why not drinking customs? Icing died out in what? 2010?  It was the rage of the summer, and Smirnoff has done some clever marketing lately, is this another boon of their new, as I like to call it, Everyday Alcoholic Promotion? If you didn’t know 10% of American drinkers consumer over half of the alcohol consumed per year. Here’s a nifty graph via The Washington Post:

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Addicts drive these markets, same is true for the tobacco industry, and the same will be true for marijuana when that becomes legalized. Smirnoff knows the best way to increase revenue further is by getting more people hooked on the loopy juice. Which brings us to the big loser of the summer:

Zima, back for the summer only. Miller-Coors must be shitting bricks now that Icing is back. They’re basically the same product, alcoholic seltzer for women to sip on or bro’s tying to mask their femininity to pound. Only Zima doesn’t have that coveted alcoholic tradition to push product. It just doesn’t have any flow, “Aw bro, you just Zima’d!” Want to tap into the trend? Here’s a free one for you Miller-Coors. Air a “viral” video online, same premise as icing, only tell the frat guy he was just, “Zimasculated.” Have some fun with it. Have a drunk bro passed out, have his friends put him in a dress, with a well placed Zima in his hand.

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I know you have that whole, add a Jolly Rancher thing to it, to make it not taste horrible, but we’re not 16 anymore. We’re not sneaking drinks at our Grandparents and using the hard candy dish to appease our underage palates still. Like I said, Miller-Coors, take this, and run, otherwise you risk this product revival being a flop. This one is free, and if you need more help marketing, I’m still unemployed.

Ps. Just checked, yup, 2010 was the last video I had of someone getting Iced.

The Naysh

 

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