Only the first 20 seconds matter


What? The worst reporting of all time? Oh no, this website is absolutely the worst reporting of all time. I meant: Is this the worst hair on a reporter of all time?


If I’ve said it once, then I’ve said it a thousand times; show me a man with a comb over and I’ll show you a man who thinks that by crushing a bag of chips that he is making more chips. But this isn’t even a comb over, it’s somehow worse. I want to ask Peter Jackson why Andy Serkis was a computer generated Gollum for Lord of the Rings instead of just casting this guy. Are those hair strands? Or is his head just that veiny? It’s like Snow Peas have taken root on this guy’s head. And you know he’s a complete jerk too, because that camera man knew EXACTLY what he was doing on that close up. The reporter must have had to complain that his face wasn’t on air over someone like Kevin Durant because he thinks he’s the real MVP (On a real KD track lately). He thinks hes big dick shit and bullied the camera man who’s just some guy with a nagging wife and two kids to feed at home and trying to make a living in the media industry. Little did the reporter know revenge can be so subtle yet heart wrenching, like getting this mop on national TV, which really could just be a nest of spiders instead of hair, call up National Geographic, it’s time for a special.

Look I’m balding, I get it. Like my father, and his father. And I know they say the hairline supposedly comes from your mother’s side, well either I’m the exception, or that rule is bullshit, but when It’s time to let go, just commit and let go. If you’re that much of a commitment”phobe”, just go with the Caesar Ring. Yea by all accounts Caesar was kind of a dick, but he was successful. It’s not like it’s been irreversibly tarnished like Charlie Chaplin’s Mustache. Not all of us were cut out to be rock stars my man.


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