LONDON (AP) — United Airlines is investigating the death of a giant rabbit on one its trans-Atlantic flights, adding to a growing list of customer complaints for the U.S. carrier.
Worst. Week. Ever
We all know about them physically throwing the passenger off the plane
And now this? A giant Rabbit DIED on the plane? Wait. What’s a Giant Rabbit?
OH SHIT! Now this is news! This isn’t a person, people care about animals.
“Simon [The Rabbit] had been purchased by a celebrity whom Edwards [Owner] did not identify. “Simon had his vet check just before getting on the plane,” she said. “He was fit as a fiddle.””
This all feels a little fishy to me. So hop (pun intended) on the conspiracy wagon with me. An UNNAMED Celebrity had purchased this rabbit? Fit as a fiddle? Buzzwords that smack of a woman that saw United as a target and is going to cash in on her choice of being a giant rabbit breeder, which can’t be a huge market (pun intended). Giant rabbits I can only equate to Andre the Giant and flying with a heart that stressed can’t possibly be a good i-deer. [How did I do with the animal puns?]
Anyways I can’t help but feel bad for United. Like I said, people are one thing, animals are another in the eye of the public. Live look at United ticket holders:
Let me hit you with some facts, United had the second-highest level of animal deaths and injuries of any U.S. airline last year, or 2.11 per 10,000 animals transported, according to U.S. Department of Transportation figures. Only Hawaiian Airlines was worse at 3.99, the result of three deaths among the 7,518 animals transported.
Basically, if you want your pet to fly, make sure it’s a bird