The stunning star is, for a record fifth time, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World – though she can hardly believe it.
She shouldn’t believe it. She isn’t.
Now I’m not here to bash Julia Roberts and her Horsetail Hair, her Velociraptor Teeth, or her prominent and somehow Crooked Nose, that’s low brow humor, and I’m above that.
It’s a simple matter of logistics.
The world? The whole WORLD?! I don’t know what world you live in, but Julia isn’t even the most beautiful Roberts. A simple Google Image search proves that:
A quick look to the corner for a side by side of Caityln Jenner should also cast a pretty big doubt in your brain, eerily similar. It’s the whole WORLD thing that gets me too. If she was named “Most Random Suburban White Mother That Also Has An Academy Award” I’d be right there with you, but walk down any metropolitan city in the world and you’ll see a more beautiful woman. Well maybe not in the Middle East, but that’s just because they’re covered up on said street, but if you could see them I stand by my point. Again, a cursory Google Image search should quash this argument:
Now at this point some of you may get on your high horses and say it’s not all about looks. It’s about her family and marriage. WHATEVER. You’re talking about a marriage to an already married man she met on set and ran off with and allegedly paid off the wife to have a quick separation. And this is AFTER she left Agent Jack Bauer standing at the alter to run off to Ireland with some other guy. Context People. Anyways enough ranting, perfect excuse to plug some random Instagram Hotties in here to remove any remaining doubt.
We’re done here